What is Love & What is Attachment?
Many times, you might have been asked by your friend the most tricky question, “Am I in love with him/her?” and you can’t give a proper answer to that question. And you end up saying “I don’t know!”. People often get confused between the two concept- ‘being in love’ and ‘being attached’.
Being in a relationship doesn’t always mean that you are in love with that person. This is more applicable in today’s world as relationships are becoming more transient. To differentiate between these two is a ‘real deal’.
We all want to experience the love that takes away all our pain and whenever he/she is around, the world seems like happen. But, most times we end up being with someone without feeling the spark.
Here are some of the key differences that might help you to distinguish between these two-
1. Real love is all about freedom, the freedom to be who you really are, without any anxieties that the other may judge you. But, if we are attached to our love, we tend to make choices for them and try to involve in every decision of their lives.
2. When we start to place our emotions or feelings over the other person, that means we are not in real love anymore. Love is selfless, and attachment is selfish. And the love fades away gradually and end up in separation.
3. Love has nothing to do with the ego. On the contrary, attachment is all about boosting your ego. Love makes you more empathetic and understanding towards each other- ‘the most charming experience ever’.
4. Attachment may die easily when you realise you are not in love anymore other the other person. But real love always prevails even after breakup. We can’t hate each other under any circumstances and end up defending each other every time in front of others even if we are miles apart.
Remember, real love is all about forgiveness. The next person you date might make you feel like its true love, but real love is a myth after all.
Do These 8 Things After A Break Up
How to Overcome A Break Up:
As we are getting modern, the number of breakups are increasing as well. People are getting more realistic and taking it easy most of the time. But deep down, they always feel the pain. If you love someone and the relationship breaks for some reason, then it becomes really difficult. More than 50 percent of this generation can vouch for it. The heartache and frustration of a failed relationship make us much more jaded as individuals.
Love makes us do many things which we have never dreamt of. But at times, after a breakup, we ourselves make it much harder to get it over with. We take some wrong choices and end up hurting ourselves.
Things To Do After A Breakup:
1. Reduce Contact With Your Ex:
If you love someone and her lovely voice suddenly not there on the other end of your call, you feel lonely. Reducing contact with your love is the toughest thing to do. The chat, text and multiple calls- you miss the most. There is a void which was full just moments ago. But cutting contact is the most essential to do or those memories will haunt you more and more and you will be stuck in with the void; crying and crying. So, delete her number from your phone or mail real soon.
2. Don’t Stalk them on social network platforms:
Social media now a days have all the information whatever we need to know about someone- where they’re, what they’re doing, whether they’re already moving on, etc etc. Stop stalking your ex on social media. Whenever we do this, we’re still anchoring our life to theirs. Why do you need to spend your life that depends on they are up to. So its wise to Unfriend them next morning only.
3. Run away from the grieving Procedure
Don’t feign to be fine whenever you aren’t, it is okay to feel sad, hurt, upset, and you have to acknowledge those emotions first so you could eventually get them from your system by minding those emotions. Grieving is crucial, prompting the unaddressed pain festers.
4. Attempt to be buddies right after
That simply doesn’t work you know. Really. There’s so much that should be addressed which you two will never be capable to draw the line between friendship and what you shared. You might just end up fighting and making everything worse. The very rare circumstance which in fact works in is if you two were never that invested in each other anyway.
5. Don’t have physical relation with one another
Just. Don’t. Do. It. It will only mess your head up, and make you wonder things you shouldn’t be thinking. Clean break please.
6. Attempt to get back together
That is to say, you shouldn’t be with somebody who you’ve to ask to be with you. You shouldn’t be with somebody who doesn’t want to be with you. It is hard to let go of all of the happy memories and second-guessing the reason you broke up in the first place.
7. Wallowing in your pain
It’s true, you have to grieve. You need to. You absolutely need to. But then don’t make it worse for yourself by continually listening to sad songs, eating during the heartache, and prolonging the pain.
8. Give up on love
You can’t be ready to date for some time, you’ll also likely lose your faith in the notion of love. And that’s okay. But know that eventually, this too will pass. And once that time comes, keep the doors and your heart open.
9 Signs To Tell That You Are Addicted, But Not In Love
“WHAT IS LOVE?” and “WHAT IS ADDICTION?”
How many of you still wonder about this question? “WHAT IS LOVE?” and “WHAT IS ADDICTION?” How could you tell the difference between them, being in love or being addicted? We sometimes become so tangled in the chains of love, we mistake it for dependence. Going crazy in love is a great feeling, however, it can change to dependence really easy.
It’s incredible to fall in love; it is a pure ecstasy for the heart. However, it all can turn into infatuation and dependency faster than we could imagine.
Here are some of the signs that may tell you what state you are actually in-
1. Your loved ones and buddies always come second as you two are formally together.
2. You are hurt when they make plans with others and you are not appreciating it at all. No personal space is there.
3. You wait around till they complete their work to be together again. You lost interest in all of your hobbies and actions and now all stuff you do as a couple only.
4. The concept, your romance might come to an end, frightens you horribly. Seems like the end of the world!
5. Since you would like to be with him/her at all times, you rarely feel discounted which means you pick up conflicts for no clear reason.
6. You pretend you like the very same things only to spend more time with him/her.
7. You cannot spend time alone at all, you are feeling empty or anxious all the time.
8. You just cannot take your hands off them, frequently participating in love-making in different places.
9. You drop everything for them. They become your priority.
Never lose your heart and soul entirely for someone. Let love win, not addiction. Enjoy every moment of your life. Move on!
10 Tips To Help You Survive In Long Distance Relationship
Long-distance relationships can be tough and risky, but they’re certainly not impossible.
Long distance relationships are no joke. Long distance is a very crucial barrier to sustaining a loving relationship with someone. But fortunately for us modern loves, technology has managed to bridge the gap substantially for people to maintain lines of communication despite the distance. We live in an age where it’s now possible for us to instantly engage in a discussion with someone on the other side of the world with just a few clicks. The age of smartphones and computers have really made it easy for us to make contact with people.
Despite the amazing advancements in technology, long distance relationships are still tough. There’s just something about not being able to be physically near the person you’re love that somehow makes things feel somewhat incomplete and insufficient. No matter how many video calls you do or chatting or text messaging in the world will be enough to make up for the power of an actual physical touch.
But not to say that long distance relationships are impossible. They’re difficult, but couples can still make the most out of them.
Here are a few tips to survive your long distance relationship.
1. The first tip is fairly obvious: make use of all the technologies at your disposal to be in contact with one another.
Skype, WhatsApp call, Facebook messenger. There are so many platforms and so many tools that you can use to constantly update each other on your individual lives apart. Distance is no longer an excuse for you to not talk to one another.
2. Establish a certain ritual that both of you could share with one another.
This routine could be something as simple as texting one another right away when you wake up in the morning or just before you’re about to fall asleep.
3. Constantly keep each other updated what you are doing and remind one another about your future plans and that the current distance is only a temporary setback.
Long distance relationships are tough and they are emotionally exhausting a lot of the time. But you shouldn’t let that phase you. Constantly remind one another that whatever hardships your relationship is going through at the moment is only temporary. Remind each other that your future is going to be bright and you only need to make the most out of the present.
4. Share your feelings and your thoughts on everyday life and try to make each other smile.
Build emotional connections with each other by baring your souls. Be as communicative as possible to compensate for the physical distance that has been set between you. Really allow yourselves to be vulnerable to your partner when expressing yourself.
5. Aside from expressing yourself to your partner, make sure you always paying attention and listening to your partner intently.
Also make it a point to really pay attention to what your partner is trying to tell you. Pay attention to your partner’s needs and really hear one another out. Communication is always a two-way street and you can’t afford to be selfish.
6. Make sure your partner knows if you are going to be busy for which you won’t be able to constant communication with them.
You’re not always going to have the time to be in constant communication with your partner. You still have your individual life to worry about. Whenever you become a little busy, tell your partner and make sure they understand that you need some time for yourself.
7. Support each other in his/her bad times.
Life is uncertain and problems or difficult situation may arise any time, so you need to give moral, emotional support to keep your bonding strong.
8. Use your technology to be sexually intimate with one another.
If the both of you are sexually active in your relationship, you shouldn’t let distance get in the way of the both of you being intimate with one another. You can still have active sex lives by making use of technology. Don’t be afraid to send your significant other the occasional naught text message every once in a while.
9. Exchange gifts or tokens just to manifest your thoughtfulness for your partner.
Make use of airmail. For example, send your partner a book that reminded you of them. It’s a simple gesture that carries a lot of emotional weight.
10. Be creative.
You don’t have to limit yourselves to these tips. You have your own unique individual personalities and you know one another best. Find the things that you find works for your relationship and experiment a little bit. Build on your bond for one another.
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